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It never gets weird enough.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Well, it's been fun.

I've decided to pull the plug on this operation. I was going to tell you my new address, but I thought it would be more fun if you just started guessing. There's not that many blogs out there, right? ;)

Let's end this off with a cheesy quote:

What a long, strange trip it's been.


Presented by courtneymay |




Tuesday, November 29, 2005

After this, everything else in your life's got the volume turned down.

If you can wake up in a different time,
If you can wake up in a differen place,
Why can't you wake up a different person?
-Fight Club

I'm not really hard to please when it comes to books, to be honest with you. This is pretty much how it goes down - I scan through the stacks at work until I find a book with the same generic cover I always read - colorful, shiny, girly. I really hate to admit this, but...I read girly books. I really do. The girls are always getting their hearts broken, and going out for dinner with their gay best friend to try and get over it, and going to their high powered career where eventually they end up sleeping with a co-worker. Now it's embarrassing enough that I read those books. And that I don't know how to spell embarrassing. But if you knew how many of those books I read...wow, that would be embarrassing. You'd think if I didn't know how to spell it, I'd just quit using it, hey?

So recently I decided that I should try reading a book that I could actually carry around school with me whilst keeping my head held high. As soon as I start carrying a pink book with me, I have to look at the floor. My reputation could be shattered. So anyway, I decided it would be a good idea to read books that had movies made of them. I mean, obviously if they made a movie, it had to be good, hey? And I've read quite a few books and then watched the movie and gone "the book was waaay better". Examples:

Harry Potter 1-4
Drive Me Crazy (originally "Girl Gives Birth to Own Prom Date")
Where the Heart Is (although I have to admit, I totally had a crush on Fornie in the movie)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (once again, Johnny Depp <3)
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
A Walk to Remember

There are much more, I'm sure, I just can't think of them right now. The only movie I can think of that I actually thought the movie was better than the book was The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Maybe it was because everyone made a lot of fuss about the book, and when I read it I didn't find it all that fascinating. I did not cry the promised three kleenex boxes. My throat did not even get a little bit tight. And hey, maybe it's because I'm dead inside. Or maybe it's because the book just wasn't that good.

The point of this rant actually was about Fight Club. You could probably tell, since that's where I started out. I recently read this book (by Chuck Palahniuk) and it was unfrickinbelievable. Now I know I said I'm not that hard to please when it comes to books, but this was different. Most books I can read and be like, "Oh that was pretty good." But this book...I was pretty much blown away. I won't give anything away, but I will tell you that the end is a MAJOR curveball for you less perceptive people such as myself. I think this weekend I might have to watch the movie and see if it lives up to the book. I should really talk about books more often. I've gotten myself all excited. Now I shall leave you all with another memorable Fight Club quote:

Tyler Durden: It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
Narrator: There's always that.


Presented by courtneymay |




Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Maybe everything changed and I stayed the same.

Last night I had a dream about ice cream. I was in an ice cream shop. Well, it wasn't really a shop. I'm not sure how to explain it. There was this big table full of different buckets of ice cream. The buckets weren't sitting on the table, you must realize, they were actually level with the table. Perhaps there was a shelf of sorts underneath, I'm just not sure. Anyway, I was going around picking all of my favourite kinds of ice cream and putting them in my bowl. It was just a regular bowl from my kitchen, but somehow I was packing in quite a bit. Right when I started to stir the ice cream (I like it homogenous) I woke up.

I realize that dream was pretty lame, and you probably don't care too much about it, but there's history in that dream. It just came back to me this morning when I was thinking about it, but when I was little and I had nightmares that's what my mom would tell me to think about. I remember the list, like I can see it in my mind all numbered and titled. Things to think about when so scared you can't move: ice cream, camping, skating, playing barbies, soccer... My mom's a pretty resourceful woman.

So today I had a bad day. I decided that this would be the way to fix it:

Things to Think About When Having a Bad Day
1. Pay day is on Friday.
2. Tomorrow is Friday Eve.
3. Sometime in the future (and by that I mean the next two months) I might get a weekend off.
4. My awesome pretend suede coat that keeps me warm.
5. As well as my awesome pretend leather coat.
6. And my mitts and scarf. I <3 JP :)
7. Only 13 days until Scrubs Season 2 is out on DVD.
8. Only 15 days, 3 hours, and 20 minutes until Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is out in theaters.
9. The cute boy that used to smile at me. Wherever did he go?
10. How funny it was when I insulted those strangers at my lunch table today. They thought that since we had a couple common friends we could be friends. They thought wrong. Muahahaha.
11. Most important thing to think about - How much better tomorrow is going to be.

And the most important thing NOT to think about when you're having a bad day is how horrible your day was/is. It'll just make your belly hurt. Bad days are far too common lately. We must start a good day epidemic. I'm not sure if that's the word I'm going for, but I have dial-up internet, so I'm not looking it up. I'm having a bad day, YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT!

I still blob you, though. ;)


Presented by courtneymay |




Saturday, October 29, 2005

At least you know the neighbors are quiet.

Recently my parents decided it would be a good idea to sell our house, 1610 Ashley Drive, which we have lived in for three years. Our house that we just finished renovating. I'd only unpacked my last box two months before we moved. But apparently that was just way too much time spent in one place for my dad, who, I must remind you, was the one who told us when we moved into 1610 that we would be carrying him out of it in a box. He lied. So now we are waiting for my dad to finish the plans for our new house. While we are doing this we live in a different house. By different I mean there are dead bodies in the backyard. Because it wasn't enough to spend 11 years of my life living in a house across from a funeral home, I now live in a house about fifty steps away from a graveyard. This amuses many people to no end. The jokes just don't stop. "At least you know the neighbors are quiet" "People are just dying to get in" and my personal favorite phone conversation with my uncle:
"Hello?"
"Hey, is this Memory Gardens!?"
"Yes..."
"Could I get a room?"
"......"
"I don't need a very big one, but I sure would like it deep!"
Christmas is always fun when you have family like that. More to follow, but right now I must go warm up as it is cold in this house. Cold like death.

Muahahaha.


Presented by courtneymay |




Thursday, October 27, 2005

Madness, simply madness.

I've been away from the blogging world for so long that I start to shake when I come close. I see that it's been crazy since I've been gone. Do not fret. I am back. Order will be restored.


Presented by courtneymay |




Thursday, September 29, 2005

My internet deprival is killing me.

DADADADA THIS IS COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME, YOU BE LOVIN IT!

1. How tall are you? 5'9"

2. Do you own a gun? No, but if I did I would suggest a lot of you start running.

3. Have you ever been though Rehab or Counselling? Not yet.

4. Have you ever killed an animal? No, but once I saw this gopher on the road and so I moved over so I wouldn't hit it and then the person in front of me got it and it did a backflip and its brains splattered across the road.

5. Are you Irish? A wee bit.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? They are good with catsup.

7. What's your favourite Christmas song? GOOD KING WENCELAS LOOKED OUT ON! ON THE SHORES OF EEEEEDEN! WHEN THE SNOW LAY ROUND ABOUT, DEEP AND CRISP AND EEEEVEN!

8. What is your favourite smell? Cookies, nice boy cologne, and the pretty smell of Jeff, i.e. laundry.

9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Iced tea, but usually I'm too lazy to make it and eveyrone else in my damn family drinks it but they never make it. Damn them.

10. Do you do pushups? Not since Grade 10 gym to be truthful. My upper body strength is nonexistent.

11. Have you ever done ecstasy? Nhegatory.
12. Have you ever been shot? No but once this kid zapped me with a taser gun and I punched him in the face.

13. Have you ever been hospitalized? Not since I was a babe.

14. Do you like painkillers? Nah I like to play through the pain.

15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? I wear sexy perfume and then rub my breastages all over them. God I'm hot.

16. Do you have A.D.D? Perhaps, undiagnosed currently, however.

17. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? I likes the chicks a tattooo brings. Giggety, giggety, gigg-e-ty.

18. Name five beverages you drink regularly? Canada Dry, Coke, Milk, Chocolate Milk, Water.

19. What's in your CD player? Eric Clapton - "THE CREAM OF CLAPTON".

20. What's under your bed? Ugly pink carpet and cement floor.

21. Current hair length/colour? Chinnish. Blonde.

22. What are you wearing? Jeans, a sweater and a bunnyhug. Yeah that's right, I'm wearing a turtlenecked sweater with a bunnyhug. I'm a fashion disaster.

23. Current worry? Pretty alright, alriiiight.

24. Current love? Canada Dry.

25. Current hate? the townies at my school.

26. Favourite place to be? In my hole of a room with some frizends.

27. Least favourite place to be? In the front foyer after school where a bunch of fuckheads gather and then get pissed off when you push your way past them, or in the parking lot where a bunch of fuckheads get rammy in their parents minivans.

28. If you could play an instrument...? I would definitely be a drummer, and I would have sexy pirotechnics going off around my drums like Travis Barker.

29. Favourite colours? Poiple and green.

30. Person(s) from your past you wish you could be with right now? My grandpa.

31. Where would you like to go? Many places - Jamaica, New York, Disneyworld again, Vancouver Island again, maybe an Alaskan cruise.

32. Where do you want to live? Probably in Med Hat for school, and then I'm not sure where after that. I might just get me a big ol' RV and start driving. What do I care, gas is cheap!

33. Favourite food? I enjoy strawberries, cheesecake, pizza, and much much more.

34. Colour of most clothes you own? I'm pretty mixed in the colour area, but I do have lotsa jeans.

35. Number of pillows you sleep with? Well there are 2 on my bed when I go to sleep by I usually end up building this cacoon type deal with my head on the bed and two pillows on top. Sometimes it's hard to breathe.

36. What do you wear when you go to sleep? pajama pants and a sweat shirt.

37. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

38. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? Pretty much keepin' on like I am now. I'm not sure though, one day I'm gonna do something that'll knock all your socks off.

39. Are you paranoid? Slightly.

40. First piercing/tattoo? I got my ears pierced but that only lasted for a couple months cause I'm just not girl enough for that shit.

41. Last person you yelled at? Probably Zac.

42. What are you reading now? The 6th Harry Potter. Again. Also I'm waiting for Fight Club to come in at the library.

43. Last thing you ate? Breakfast at Smitty's.

44. If you could be a pirate, would you? For definitely! I'm in the middle of the Pacific! Try and catch me now bitch!

45. Do you have an iPod? Nah I'm not into all this new fangled technology.

46. When and why did you last vomit? June 28th at the Library Multicultural Potluck because I ate a bad TV dinner before I went. Before that it had probably been about five years.

47. What's in your pockets right now? Actually nothing, which sucks because this means I forgot my lip chap.

48. What colour are your bedroom walls? White, cement, and wood panelling. Yes, thank-you, I am quite classy.

49. Last thing that made you laugh? Me, Shawna, and Zac being rapstars as we drove around in his ghetto truck, then he did a burnout and parked three people in. Good times.

50. Any pets now? Negatory, I live with Seargent Ron, leader of HATING ME. Just kidding, I love me daddy.

51. Innie or an outtie? Outtie, represent!

52. Do you have any piercings? Holy shit fuck this question comes up a lot.

53. If you were a crayon what colour would you be? Macaroni and cheese.

54. Have you ever won any awards? Yeah, for KICKING ASS.

55. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or had to have stitches? Yes I broke my shoulder when I was wee, and also I had gum surgery which required stitches that dissolved in my mouth, and also I cracked my nose.

56. Who do you tell your dreams to? If they're funny I might share them with friends, or if I have a dream about someone I'll tell them...like that one with Jeff and his biker family, or the one where Zac got that girl pregnant.

57. If you could pick one person to make out with who would it be? It starts with a W.

58. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? Sayre lights up my life. I <3 him.

TTTAAAAAGGGG!
everyone.


Presented by courtneymay |




Thursday, September 15, 2005

Un. Fucking. Believable.

So I got home from work today and checked out the fridge for a snack, and guess what I saw... No, don't even try, you'll never get it.

I SAW THIS:



Don't see it yet? Look a little closer!



Yeah, that's China Lily. That's a whole fucking gallon of China Lily.


Presented by courtneymay |




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