+
It never gets weird enough.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Because, really, I don't talk enough about me.

I have not posted anything swimming with awesomeness for some time now, as for awhile my moods seem to be playing games on me and those around me. I think I have a master plan now, it seems to be working as I am ridiculously happy ALWAYS. And anyway, I would've hated to skew the happy "no-troubles-in-life" image of me you all have (ha...) by writing a blog in one of those "moods". I tried a few and they all seemed to look like this:

I HATE YOU ALL. QUIT PARKING IN THE DRIVEWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PARKED IN, HO. WHO THE HELL HAS THE RIGHT TO RAISE THE DAMN GAS PRICES TO 97 POINT FRICKIN 9? WHO IS THE MAN? WHOEVER HE IS, DAMN HIM! DAMN HIM ALL TO HELL!

You see, you can just feel the negativity in that one. Those are not happy capital letters, my friends. If that were to continue on I might have to start listening to some angry screamo music and wearing black and ceremoniously killing kittens. And really, there are enough of those in this world. (The angry people, not the kittens).

That reminds me. I'm sure you have all noticed that there is an abundance of road kill decorating the streets these days. No? You haven't? Then you are like me and don't necessarily think looking at the road is important while driving. Anyway, dead things don't make me happy. Not like I'm a huge animal activist or anything, I mean, I like a good steak as much as the next guy, but dead things just don't bring a lot of joy to me. So yesterday I went to pick up my brother and on the way home I saw a gopher dart out on the street. I was like, "Yes, that one will be a miss," as I am quite excellent at the swerving and missing, no matter how close my drunken sister thinks I was to that car the other night. Also, I have never hit anything on the road. Except for those small children at the crosswalk. But there are always exceptions, right? I'm rambling. So anyway, I was so happy that I was going to miss the gopher. And then the car in front of me. Yeah, you know how it goes. So, backflip, SPLAT. Guts everywhere and 4 legs in the air. My brother starts CACKLING maniacly while I am about ready to cry. And I KNOW it was just a gopher. But I practically FELT that splat. Not like I am a huge animal activist or anything, I mean, I enjoy a good steak just as much as the next guy. But I really don't need to see ANYTHING's guts splatter all over the road in front of me.

My happy fibres seem to be vanishing rapidly. I guess I will just go turn on my Shania Twain and Nelly mix CD. That usually makes me feel better. Especially that song about the runners.


Presented by courtneymay |




Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Oh, Shel. What can't you do?

Where The Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein


Presented by courtneymay |




Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Maybe my parents ARE crazy!

Let me start this out with a little introduction. I have to do this or Teagan will feel left out because Sayre got an introduction and he didn't. (oh, ps. Sayre's new nickname is Smac. pronounced smack.) So anyway, tonight I had Teagan convinced (he might tell you he didn't believe me, but he's lying) that my middle name was Milli Vanilli. This might not make him sound very bright, but you can read his blog (or "live journal" if you will) anyway, because even the slowest of us bloggers need somewhat of a fanbase.

Anyway, when I told him that my middle name was Milli Vanilli, he said, "You're parents must be washed up freaks." Or something to that effect. At the time I was quite offended. However, next I told him the story of my first name. (You might not all know it. Too bad. Those of you who do --shut up.) After that story I couldn't help but think, "Hmm....maybe my parents ARE washed up freaks." If you know the story, you'll probably agree. If you don't, is this kind of suspenseful?

Remember last blog when I told you about the awesome shelf reading compliment I got at work? Today I got shh'd. In my own place of work. By the same person who gave me the shelf reading compliment. AND IT WAS ALL TEAGAN'S FAULT!!!

I must wrap my break up, however, as I don't want to get reprimanded twice in one day.

ps. Sorry for the work stories Jill. Next time there will be some drafting goodness.


Presented by courtneymay |




Thursday, March 10, 2005

Say you wanna be loved for what's inside!

You know that feeling that you have right before you sneeze? That tingling in your nose, squinty eyes kind of thing? You know the thing. Well I have that. Only it's always. I'm always going to sneeze. It's just a matter of how long I have to get a few words out before my face explodes. But I do like the satisfying after effects. You know the ones.

Today at work I got complimented on my shelf reading. Serious. Not even one of those compliments where someone is like, "Hey Courtney, nice shirt," and turn it into, "Today someone told me I was astonishingly beautiful and irresistible." Nope, this time she actually said, "Courtney, you do a good job shelf reading." And I said "Ain't no thang." Well actually I said nothing because I didn't realize she was talking to me. But when I did, oh boy did I shine with pride.

I would love to stay and entertain you with many more of my humourous anecdotes, but my canker sores hurt. Which makes me angry.
NO ANECDOTE FOR YOU!


Presented by courtneymay |




Sunday, March 06, 2005

don't hate us...we were on hiatus!

Okay I realize my brief blogging break is really not that monumental, and certainly not enough to merit writing about, but I just thought of that joke and it's funny dammit. I have heard many complaints recently about blogs that are just boring tales of boring events in boring people's lives. If you don't like that kind of blog, stop reading here, because that is me.

So, I had a pretty decent weekend. I think I will outline some important events for you.

HIGHLIGHTS
  1. Cranium
  2. "You're 20 years old and you don't know how to read!" "He's 20!?"
  3. Buying Low Millions CD. Okay, here's the thing. I told you all that I would buy a CD if I could find a band in which I liked more than 2 of their songs. So I found this band. And I liked this one song. And I downloaded the rest. And I liked them too. And I says to myself, I says, "Self, why would you go buy a CD when you just downloaded all the songs?" and then myself said, "Because you are a dirty, dirty hypocrite. Spend some money you cheap bastard." Anyway, I bought the CD.
  4. Stephen/Kalin installing speakers in my car. In about a fourth of the time it took Zac to put CD player in truck. Ha.
  5. Playing cat and mouse. Winning. No, not just winning. KICKING ASS.
  6. Co-workers bickering with each other through me, behind each other's backs. Oh how you light up my life, library.
  7. Birthday party!

And a few less than excellent moments:

  1. Embarassing myself repeatedly. Why won't I stop talking?
  2. My inability to spell thesaurus backwards. Or forwards. Is that right?
  3. Closing car door into jaw. Yelling in pain. Crying.
  4. So. Much. Chinese. Food.

I am baby-sitting for some of my favourites on Tuesday. Tres exciting. They are awesome. They tell me I look like licorice. I think they might actually have a point. Anyways, you're welcome for that interesting glimpse into my super awesome interesting life. Stop by again sometime.

ps. You may have noticed I have a new addition to my "links" list. Let me introduce you. Everyone, this is Sayre. We are super cool library work buddies. Sayre, this is my loyal fan base. And if anyone can explain what he is talking about in some of his posts, that'd be cool.



Presented by courtneymay |




^



 © It never gets weird enough. 2005 - Powered by Blogger Templates for Blogger