It never gets weird enough.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

I'm blogging this.

Alright everyone, sing it with me:

Light up!
Have sex!
Be free!

Bamp chicka bow wow! Y'all, I seriously don't know if they're going to be able to handle me down there. Somehow I am DOUBTING it. And I am not the doubting type.

Went to Fantastic 4 tonight. I was pretty against it due to my deep hate for Jessica Alba, but I mean, it was that or the Dukes. And let's get serious here...the last thing we need is another excuse for Jessica Simpson to wear tiny clothing, and then preach about premarital sex. Hey guy! I'm a virgin too! I won't insult it too much, obviously: sex sells! And usually I'm buying! This time, I'll bow out gracefully thank you. I think it's my Jessica hate. But you should definitely go to Fantastic 4 as it was pretty freaking hilarious. Like this humongous guy made of stone making sexual comments to a teeny tiny little lady. YOU'RE ALWAYS HUGE AND ALWAYS HARD! But go ahead, rip her in half like a phone book.

While I'm being classy...I should tell you...I fell down. It was hard. It was over a curb. And I lost some skin. Certain friends of mine felt it necessary to laugh/judge. I'll just let GOD deal with you, bitches!

I'm reading this book. I'm not usually into the "self-help" books...but this one sounded funny. It's called, "He's Just Not That Into You". I've learned a lot. Like, for example:
1) He's just not that into me.
2) No one's really into me.
3) I'm not supposed to wait for guys.
4) I'm not supposed to make the first move.
5) I really don't know how to do 3 and 4 simultaneously.
But I'm sure it doesn't matter. I'll just have cats. And a soap opera. You know, "Oh sorry, gotta hang up, my soaps on!" Who needs relationships when you have that? I mean get. serious.

Ha. Righto. Please hold me.

And I'll leave you with my poker strategy for the evening,

"Nothing beats a pair of 2's!"

Presented by courtneymay |

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Is it too early for a midlife crisis?

Presented by courtneymay |


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